These Rights We Hold to be...Untouchable.

The Courts have made their judgment: The rights to O.J. Simpson's autobiographical re-telling of Nicole Simpson's brutal and untimely death, which was due to be called, "If I Did It," are to be transferred to the Goldman family. The family then apparently intend to rename the book, "Confessions of a Double Murderer," and publish it. There's no word yet on what use is planned for the royalties that will undoubtedly result from the publication of this lurid and contentious tome, but the Goldman's representatives have made no mention of these being donated to Nicole's favorite charity, or to a charity in general.

The purpose of their court action was supposedly to stop Mr. Simpson benefiting financially from a murder they remain convinced he committed. But instead of securing ownership of the rights then suppressing or destroying the manuscript, they intend to publish it, and - apparently - keep all of the resulting income.

This raises the distasteful suspicion that their overriding consideration was not that someone stood to glean significant profits from its publication, but that the beneficiary was not currently one of the Goldmans.

If a member of your family is murdered, no amount of money within the realms of human comprehension could even begin to assuage that loss, and the idea of profits being made by anyone from a recounting of the event should be an implacable anathema to even the most distant member of the victim's family.

If the Goldmans are truly as distraught as they claim they should ensure that not so much as a digest of this repugnant dissertation is ever released. To do otherwise has more to do with vengeance and avarice than justice, and would be a display of behavior for which they should be boundlessly ashamed and universally shunned.

Coming Soon to a Cliff-edge near you!...

I hate reality shows with the passionate intensity of a thousand imploding suns. When your carefully screened and selected cast are giving mind-numbingly inane tests in which their every slightest thought is provided by members of the WGA, and everything they eat, wear or touch just 'happens' to be smothered with the logo of a product-placement client, the resulting show's connection to reality is slim-to-none at best.

So it is no small surprise to read that the career and ego of one recent product of these abysmal freakshows are currently on opposing trajectories, and destined for imminent oblivion.

Kelly Clarkson was discovered by American Idol less than two years ago. Her album, "Breakaway," garnered 10-million copies and two Grammys. Now she's refusing to work with the Producers who made that possible. And ticket sales for her recent tour were so abysmal the whole thing was cancelled. Despite this, she harbors the baseless delusion that a few months of heavily assisted notoriety gives her the right and wisdom to argue with one of the preeminent forces in the history of contemporary music. Clive Davis.

One promoter of the aborted tour is quoted as saying, ''The day when she will play in sold-out arenas is, no doubt, coming, but for now her fans should look forward to seeing her in a more intimate concert environment.''...Like, perhaps, a phone booth.

So, for the benefit of Miss. Clarkson let's use nice, short words...

1. You have all the innate, charismatic star-power of navel fluff

2. Your tickets didn't sell because you can't sing

3. You're now at 14m:58s. And the clock is running...

If this pernicious, egocentric self-indulgence continues unchecked her precious career will soon be so hopelessly damaged, she'll be reduced to climbing out of cars without her underwear.

We can only hope she has more self-respect.

Dear Mr. Pacino. No.

An Actor's life is undeclared war; Years of toil, endless rejections and withering defeats at the hands of an implacable enemy, all endured in stifling and unwarranted anonymity. Then one day a fortunate few - very few - are offered a role so perfectly crafted, it blends the unique and potent melange of their talent, passion and years of devotion and training into a cinematic experience of such irresistible force, their name and the scale of their gift are seared into the public imagination with neither hope of, nor wish for redemption.

Al Pacino is such an Actor.

His appearance as Michael Corleone in Francis Ford Coppola's masterful tryphtic has secured a rightful place as one of the outstanding roles of modern cinema. His sinuous conjoinment with Gabrielle Anwar in 1992's, 'Scent of a Woman' is a masterclass in subtlety and holds a special place in history as the most sensual foreplay to have ever required parque flooring.

And now he wants to be on 'Dancing with the Stars.'

Currently on a promotional tour for his latest movie, Ocean's Thirteen, he told Time Magazine he doesn't rule out the idea of being on the ABC reality show, but that fans shouldn't hold their breath as he might be too shy to follow through with the idea.

This last line should cause every true fan of cinema to exude a sigh of relief that would register on the Richter Scale. An Actor of Mr. Pacino's caliber and latitude can choose any role he wants and the results will be memorable and universally admired.

But 'Prancing with the B-List' isn't one of them.

I think I need a Martini...

Hollywood Reporter, June 13, 2007:
"Veteran comedy director James Burrows, who helmed the pilot for Fox's upcoming comedy series 'Back to You,' has come aboard the show as an Executive Producer and house Director.

"Back to You," from 20th Century Fox Television and Levitan/Lloyd Prods., stars Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton as co-anchors who reunite at a NYC TV station. Burrows joins Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd as Executive Producers on the series. He will direct most of this season's episodes."

Ironically, considering it relates to a sitcom based in a Newsroom, this must be among the most depressing news I've read in months. This is the man whose parsimonious inability to leave a camera on one shot for more than three seconds utterly crushed any chance for the Audience to enjoy the Actors hard work in 90% of Cheers' seven-season run, and in every other show for which he has inexplicably been given the same post.

If you need a black armband I still have some in stock.

Six Years, and NBC has moved on...

In an unwelcome addendum to an earlier post, NBC is once more displaying the shrewd Audience judgment and overall sensitivity that have allowed it to secure the unenviable distinction of being the lowest rated Network in the history of the medium.

On September 11th, 2001, 2,996 people died in the worst single act of terrorism ever perpetrated upon this proud and glorious nation. For the sixth anniversary, the pea-brains at the Peacock have decided to commemorate the day with a two-hour special.

...of 'The Biggest Loser.'

Are they already so blase about the heinous events in New York and PA that they can calmly allocate the only special programming on the Anniversary to the season debut of a reality show? I'm not suggesting they should provide blanket reportage and hours of sombre music, but a tangible acknowledgment of the immeasurable loss of so many unfulfilled lives and their implicit potential, and of the emotional impact that is a daily 'reality' for the wives, mothers and families who are left would hardly be too much to ask...Would it?

Or perhaps that would not be so profitable.

What do you all think of this?

Has it come to this?

In an unwelcome addendum to an earlier post, NBC is once more displaying the shrewd judgment and overall sensitivity that has enabled it to secure the unenviable ignominy of being the lowest rated Network in the history of the medium.

On September 11th, 2001, 2,996 people died in the worst single terrorist act ever committed in this proud and glorious land. For the sixth anniversary, those in charge at the Peacock have decided to commemorate the tragedy with a two-hour special.

...of 'The Biggest Loser.'

Are they already so blase about the events in New York and PA that they can calmly allocate the only special programming on its Anniversary to the debut of yet another reality show? I'm not suggesting they should provide blanket coverage and hours of sombre music, but some acknowledgment of events themselves and the ongoing impact being stoically endured by the families would hardly be too much to ask...Would it?

Or would that kind of programming not be as profitable?

Janus is Alive and Well in NYC.

June 12.
As you've undoubtedly heard, Isaiah Washington is no longer among the cast of Grey's. He insulted gay people, then tried to do a 'rewind' with unconvincing apologies and explanations until, finally, ABC dropped his contract.

But their moral indignation is less than convincing. In the past, ABC has condoned the portrayal of gay male characters as either serial killers, mass murderers or suspected deviants in no less than three popular daytime dramas.

In 2000, All My Children's Bianca Kane 'came out' to the world, and instantly shot to prominence in the show's overall landscape. Sadly, such treatment is something to which her male peers can still only aspire. In 2005, One Life to Live featured a married D.A. who was secretly gay, and who, in order to keep his secret and protect his career, dispatched a positive litany of people with a gleeful sang frois that would leave Bundy positively chartreuse with envy. In the same year, a gay male College student was the focus of unbridled vitriol after being suspected of using the Date Rape drug on two female Freshmen.

And both these stories aired just weeks after GLAAD lauded the network for its portrayals of gay people.

ABC might say these were isolated aberrations from less enlightened times? Not true. All My Children has just wrapped a storyline in which an androgynous, cross-dressing rock star was suspected of having massacred half the female population of Pine Valley. He then entered a clinic, returned as a she, and was immediately confronted by hordes of angry town-folk eager to turn her into a Prada Piñata for these ghastly but unproven crimes.

ABC made no conciliatory statements regarding these plots, nor was anyone even cautioned, let alone fired. And it bears considering who would ultimately make such a call; ABC is a branch of Disney, a corporation not exactly famous for strident homophobia.

With a track record of storylines as disparaging as these, and the pungent hypocrisy implicit in dismissing an Actor for a gay slur, while allowing three major shows to portray the same target group as universal, homicidal deviants, it's pretty clear Mr. Washington is not the only ABC employee who should be shown the door.