There is only one group for whom I hold and practice greater contempt than the entire negotiating and directorial staff of the AMPTP, and that is people who wear fur. For them is reserved a special blend of revulsion that burns with the passionate intensity of a thousand imploding suns, the merest contemplation of whose quenchment is beyond the scope of the human mind. So it was wonderful to see members of PETA protesting on Hollywood Boulevard yesterday, rightly demonstrating against Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's brainless acquiescence to the concept of such cold-blooded murder.Anyone at whose disposal the modern fashion industry has placed a dizzying array of harmless alternatives who then proves themselves so intellectually impeded as to believe it is either acceptable or necessary to murder an animal so they can use its fur to bolster their own withered self-image should be remanded into the care of a trained professional and ostracized from every facet of polite society until the day the sun turns dark. An intelligent being who abuses animals to proclaim their own beauty is clearly neither intelligent, nor beautiful. This being the case, those at whom the protest was aimed would probably lack the basic intellectual dexterity to even read the banners...so their effect was doubtlessly, and rather sadly diluted.
For those few semi-evolved members of the target demo who even attempted the complexities of reading, the text at the bottom of this Gentleman's poster invited passers-by to play an online game and dress "Hairy-Kate and Trashley Trollsen" in suitably risible, and repugnant attire. As you, dear reader, are no doubt disinclined to indulge in such narcissistic slaughter yourself I invite you to experience the game's curious couture. It's actually quite fun...and thoroughly deserved.
