The Arrogant Arachnid...

Well, boys and girls, you can sleep easy tonight; After what seems like weeks of self-directed – and entirely self-serving – stories of doom and despair, Sony Pictures has just confirmed that Toby Maguire will be back in Spiderman 4.

So, this earth-shattering anti-climax invokes two vital questions:

A) Is there anyone out there with the intellectual evolution to tie their own shoes that believed for a moment he actually wouldn't?

...and B) Does the world really need a Spiderman 4??

Correct me if I'm mis-reading the clues but this has all the hallmarks of yet another tiresome crusade to manipulate the public to gain free PR; You present the media with a 'tragic' scenario, then sit back in palm-buffing glee as they slavishly report your onanistic fallacy like it had the smallest scintilla of a chance to be fact. Then, once the resultant furor has peaked, you issue a second announcement, informing what you indulgently perceive as a panic-stricken world that this fearful circumstance - which was never real to begin with - has been miraculously averted, thanks to the selfless dedication of the same malfeasant half-wits who caused its creation.

Result? Two non-stories for the price of one, and long [profitable] lines at the Box Office.

And those who make movies are far from the only ones guilty of this insulting charade; Pick any performing medium and you'll find the same brainless knavery; Self-inflicted drug 'addiction', Cows cut in half and embedded in plastic, two faded movie starlets kissing in public [in front of every camera they could possibly find,] declaring your candidacy against John McCain...three months before the election....The list is as endless as it is disrespectful.

As the audience, we deserve higher regard. Show us a performer imbued with genuine talent and we'll make them a legend without further delay. It has been thus since the dawn of movies in those halcyon days of the roaring 20's. But woe betide s/he who practices trickery – Despite the corrosive effects of the cranial oatmeal that forms the majority of American TV we still have an intellect, and we neither appreciate nor deserve its being abused or insulted for exploitative gain.

Quite how we can counter this sickening trend has yet to be clear, but we need to do something or it can only get worse [If that's possible.] Suggestions of ways to achieve our redress are hereby invited. Meantime, I'm off to rest in a darkened room with 10lbs of Hershey's, while my brain recovers from this latest assault.

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